Endless Cycle

As I sat at my desk today, reading through a packet of information on GASB 54 (a new requirement for reporting in governments), I came to a fateful realization. I will never master this craft.  It won’t matter if I spend my entire life studying everything accounting, or I do as much hands on work as possible.  It’s not because I have a horrible work ethic, or that I’m a moron (that could be debatable). It’s because whenever I will master one thing, the AICPA, GASB, and other boards will re-write the rules, and I will have to learn everything all over again. This, my fellow accountants, is what we are:

Now I know other professions have to struggle with the same thing. But at least with doctors, usually the changes enhance patient’s quality of life. What improvements does GASB 54 really make, and who reaps the benefit. It’s certainly not the practitioners, and it’s not our clients either. I guess Reuters is benefitting, as we all have get updated reference material. Don’t get me wrong, I understand improving accountability and oversight, as was the case with Sarbanes Oxley, but some of the GASB pronouncements are so silly that I have to wonder just how disconnected the people creating these pronouncements are.  I imagine a GASB meeting going something like this.

Oh well, at least I’m employed, right?

The Joys of a Small Firm: The Clients

Status: Fluff

There are definitely advantages and disadvantages to working in a small firm. Though the majority of our audit clients are very, very nice (advantage), they are also generally very, very, small (disadvantage). Many of these small clients are located out in the boondocks. Take for example the audit I was on this week. Our client’s location had no restaurant, at all. The only food source available was from a gas station mini-mart, which was at least 2 – 3 hours old. Not exactly the most appealing fare. Now that I think about it, I was sick on Wednesday. Hmm, I think I’ll bring my own lunch next time.

Ode to a 1040

Status: Fluff

What can I say to thee,

My most common friend

We have been together

From start, to the end

The dawn of the new year

My heart, it is glad

The 15^th of april

My soul, it is sad

For nine painful long months

Your absence I miss

Longing for your return

Like a passionate kiss

For the three joyful months

Your presence abounds

I get lifted so high

I can’t touch the ground

Your lines, symetrical

You always make sense

The good news, or the bad

Your logic, it fits

I am not a fool

Just a lover of you

And I hope beyond hope

That you love me too

Reflections on the CPA exam: REG Round 1

Status: Fire

After my success on BEC, I was pumped to start studying for this one. There was, however, a slight problem. I was behind by three weeks thanks to Becker not sending me my material on time. After I took BEC, I only had three weeks left to study for REG before the six month window came to a close. I thought about just canceling the test and eating the loss, but I figured it would be worth it to at least take it and find out what my strengths would be. Luckily my motivation was still pretty high, and I started putting in as much study time as possible. I honestly don’t remember a lot about these three weeks. It felt like I was in the middle of a tornado, as illustrated below:

Adding to this was the fact that my first tax season was starting, and there was a lot more going on at work. Before I knew it, the test day had arrived. I did manage to get through all the material, but didn’t have any time to review any of it at the end. As I walked into the testing, I felt that I needed at least one more week. The test was actually a bit easier than I thought it would be, but as I finished up I just had a gut feeling that I didn’t quite make it on this one.

The result: a 70. I was a bit angry about this one, mainly because I knew I could have passed this one with a little bit more time. For a while I just stared at the 70. It’s like it was mocking me, just laughing in my face.  We’d see who would have the last laugh on this one . . .

The Professional Pyramid

Status: Fluff

So let be begin by stating that I’m proud of where I’m at. I worked my way through college, got my degree, and obtained my CPA license. I have nothing to be ashamed of. That being said, why do I feel so inferior when I go to a doctor’s office? Part of it is because many doctors try to make you feel inferior, but they also have to go through much more than other professionals.  Still, does that give them the right to act like my profession is silly after I tell them what I do? And it’s not like I just start boasting, it’s just an answer to the question they ask.  I have noticed that I do the same thing to other professionals.  I have come to the conclusion that there is a professional pyramid, with top level looking down on those beneath them.  I would say it goes a little bit like this:

You’ll notice that Doctors take the top spot, with dentists close behind (I know, they’re both technically doctors, but I just didn’t feel comfortable grouping them together. Do you really respect a dentist as much as an MD?) Next on the list are lawyers, and after that is my dear profession, Accounting. Like I said earlier, I am as guilty as doctors when dealing with realtors, salespeople, and marketing agents. It doesn’t even matter if they make way more than me. Deep down I just believe that their professions just aren’t as credible.  And guess that’s how doctors and lawyers feel about me. “Sigh” oh well; at least I’m not a marketing agent.

Reflections on the CPA Exam: BEC

Status: Fire

Even though I knew right away that I had failed FAR, I was surprisingly motivated for BEC. I had set aside three and a half weeks to study, so I knew that there was no room for error on this one. The first couple of chapters in BEC seemed ridiculously easy. The first chapter was on business entities and the second chapter was on economics.  On AUD and FAR I usually averaged between %65 - %75 on questions the first time around. In BEC, I was averaging %95 through the first two chapters. As you can imagine, this was quite a confidence booster. I felt like Rocky training for the big fight (and not the Rocky from Rocky 1 that Lost. I’m talking about the Rocky from Rocky 2 who won.)

It turns out all good things really must come to an end. The next three chapters were finance, Information technology, and cost accounting. While I did pretty well on the IT section, finance and cost accounting were old enemies of mine, and they reminded me why I hated them so much. Still, even though I struggled with those two sections, I was able to put in a lot of study time (about 25 hours each) into them. For some reason, my study skills were on fire for this test, and looking back, this was definitely my most efficient time during the exam process.

The day of the exam I felt relaxed and confident (a first). My confidence never flagged during this test, and as I ended my final testlet, I knew that this one was a pass. The score: an 83. Not as high as it could have been, but a pass, and that’s good enough for me. This test was a turning point for me, and my confidence was much higher for the rest of the exams.

Vacation #3

Status: Fluff

Disney Land

So I guess what they say is true, Disney Land truly is a magical kingdom. This was by far the best day of the trip. Alex had a blast here, and I had a lot more fun than I thought I would. It helped that a member of our party had a disability pass, and we barely had to wait in line for anything.  It was all a bit much for Alex to take in at first, and he was understandably scared. However, it only took one trip though the Tarzan’s tree house to ease fears.

From there we went on some adult rides, so Alex had to stay with grandma. To make up for the torture he must have endured, we went directly Toon Town.  He seemed to be in amazement the entire time, and got extremely excited when we visited Mickey Mouse. Mickey on the other hand was visibly less excited as Alex thought it was a fantastic idea to try and continuously put his hand in Mickey’s mouth. In the photo below, I was attempting to thwart one of these attempts.

As the day wore on, we tried to go on a couple more roller coasters; Space Mountain and Splash Mountain. I must have been on fire this week, because as soon as we walked up to Splash Mountain, everything broke down. Space Mountain fared a little bit better, as the ride didn’t break down till we were almost to the end. I guess now I know that my super power is causing roller coasters to malfunction. I’m waiting for the government to call on me at any time now. You never know when a terrorist will take over a roller coaster.

Finally, we had to go on “It’s a Small World”. I was definitely not looking forward to going on this ride, but as we went through it I was amazed to see how much Alex was enjoying it. Though he was mesmerized by many other rides, this was the only one that he was dancing to and pointing to all the different dolls. I was amazed at how engaged he was. This made the ride much more enjoyable for me.

All in all it was a very good time, and came at a solid A for me. My only regret is not having more time there. Oh well. Next time I’ll make sure I see everything in the magic kingdom. Oh, and last but not least, Alex almost hurled on the Tea Cups, Enjoy.

To MBA, or not to MBA, that is the question

Status: Fire

I’ve had my CPA license for less than a year, and you would think that I’d be satisfied with that. I’m not, and I feel like I need to do more. I think maybe an MBA is the answer. I’m not going to stop working to get one, but some of the schools in the state offer online / evening classes, so working full time and working on an MBA is definitely a possible goal. Still, there are disadvantages. Here is a list of the Pro’s and Con’s as I see them

Pro

1.       Will help me do what I want to do my last 15 years of working, teach.

2.       Will allow access out of accounting should I want to get out.

3.       I will feel more respect for myself.

4.       It will give me another challenge to attack.

Con

1.       All in all it will cost around $40,000.

2.       It will take away time from my family.

3.       It will take time away from other side projects (like this blog).

4.       It may not result in a substantial increase to my quality of life.

Hmm, I guess that’s pretty even, but I’m definitely still leaning toward going for it.

First things first though, I need to take the GMAT. Hoorah, Another test to pass! At the very least taking this will let me know if I can even get into a MBA program. I will let everyone know further details as they become available.

Vacation #2

Status: Fluff

San-Diego Zoo

Out of the four places that we went, this one was my least favorite. It was easy enough to find, and it started out fun. We hit the petting zoo first, and while I don’t quite understand the joy of petting goats, Alex does and he enjoyed it immensely.  I guess he has a bit of my dad's Texas roots in him.

Things went along smoothly until we reached the lost forest section, which goes up about four – five level in platforms. This area is incredibly vast, and it became a bit tricky getting out of this section.  Also, many of the animals in this section were no shows, so everyone in our party began to get a little bit testy after about two and a half hours of walking.  Still, this section did provide the highlight of the visit. A chimpanzee came right to the glass, and Alex started freaking making monkey sounds. I wish I had captured a video of it, but this picture will just have to do.

The rest of the day was less tiring, but also rather uneventful. Alex passed out for a good chunk of the day, and a lot of the animals we saw, I’ve seen before. Everyone still had to stop and take a picture of every animal we saw. I don’t really understand that. Now I can understand if you take a picture of yourself or your family in front of an animal, but to just take a picture of an animal behind bars or behind dirty glass I don’t really understand. Is that picture going to really bring back good memories 10 years down the road? I mean seriously, if you just like the animal, you could probably find much clearer pictures of it online. What do I know; I’m just a crusty accountant I guess. I much prefer taking pictures that are a lot like modern art, like this one that I took:

I call it,"Man's cage at the Zoo". I expect to get some acclaim for it at any time.

I was rather surprised at how big the zoo was. After 8 hours, we finally called it a day, and we still hadn’t seen a large section of the zoo. I was secretly relieved, as Alex had been a bit of a daddy’s boy and wanted to be carried by me all day. As you can see below, he's not a small boy, and does tend to get a bit heavy on the arms.

The zoo ranked at a B- for me. It was a bit too spread out, and didn’t offer a lot that I hadn’t already seen before. Except for the Pandas, they were awesome.

Vacation

Status: Fluff

For the last week and half I’ve been on vacation. We went down to visit family in Murrieta CA, and while we were down there we visited Sea World, the San Diego Zoo, Disneyland, and Universal Studios in a four day stretch. I was going to post a blog posting after each day, but I had very limited internet access this week. This next week I will have multiple posts about each place, including today’s post which will be about Sea World.

Sea World

As we began sifting through the crowds into Sea World, my excitement level started to rise. You have to realize that this was my first out of state vacation, well, ever. My parents weren’t huge believers in family fun, so we didn’t really go on vacations. Due to this I was very excited, not only for me, but also for my 23 month old son, Alex. I felt that this was the start of special memories for him that I never had.  Unfortunately, the first thing we went to was a Shamu show, and things got off to a rocky start.

At first Alex seemed mesmerized by the whales, but then the splashing began. I should have known better than to sit down in a soak zone, but I thought it would be fun for all of us. Alex had other thoughts on the subject, and was very, very displeased when he was first splashed by the whales. He got very frightened, and we ended up having to leave the show early due to his anxiety level. A bad start, but luckily things went up from there.

The rest of the day was fun and uneventful until Amy and I decided to go on the Journey to Atlantis Roller Coaster. Alex had passed out, and Amy’s uncle agreed to stay with him while we went on the ride. This was my first roller Coaster, so I was pretty excited.  We finally got through the line, and boarded the ride. It started going up and got right to the point that it was about to drop. Suddenly the coaster shut down, after waiting at the top of the coaster for about 15 minutes, attendants finally made their way up to get us out of the coaster. Not exactly what I was expecting from my First Roller Coaster, but that’s how things go. (Pretty soon I’ll replace the picture below with one of us stuck on top of the coaster that Amy’s uncle took).

We ended the day with the Cirque de la Mer show, which was actually very entertaining, even for Alex. Amy Also took the following picture of the show for me that I can cherish forever.

She’s a very loving wife J

Overall Sea World was an A- for me. It had a good mix of rides and animals, and was very enjoyable for Alex.

Reflections on the CPA exam: FAR Round 1

Status: Fire

After my less than inspired study performance on audit, I was determined to make up for it on FAR. The first two chapters in Becker went great. I was able to do all of the multiple choice questions multiple times, and the material itself didn’t seem that difficult. Unfortunately for me, however, FAR didn’t have two chapters. It had nine, and the material only got more difficult to master in chapters 3 – 9. There were many more calculation problems which would  take up to five minutes to solve sometimes. In comparison, I averaged about 30 seconds a problem in audit. By the time I got to chapter 5, I felt that the GAAP (pun intended) between AUD and FAR was akin to taking a 5 mile jog vs. climbing Mount Everest, respectively. The following diagram illustrates this.

This might not be the best comparison, since I couldn’t really do either of these activities considering the shape I’m in. 

Things only got worse after chapter 5, as I came down with a slight case of pneumonia that lasted 4 weeks. The funny thing is, I was still studying a massive amount during the time. It didn’t help much though, as I have a hard enough time retaining this information when I’m completely healthy. When I’m sick? Forget about it.

After two months, I finally got through all the chapters and was ready to take the test (well, not so much ready, more forced to take it). I had fully recovered by the time the test came around, but my confidence level was not high. I had struggled with pensions, leases, and the cash flow section of FAR, and wasn’t able to go over many of the MPC’s multiple times.

As I started taking the test, it turned out my fears were right. It felt like I literally knew nothing. Question after question I kept drawing blanks. After the longest four hours of my life, the test was over. I knew with certainty I had failed. The score: 63. Once again my instincts turned out to be right. This was my most crushing defeat during the CPA Exam. Mainly because I put in close to 160 hours studying for this one, and the result wasn’t even close. It felt like an anvil dropping on my head when I saw the result. I knew it was unlikely that I would pass every part on the first try, but I hoped.

Lesson Learned. Hope doesn’t get you very far on the CPA Exam.

Get out of Jail Free

 Status: Fluff

One of my favorite things about monopoly is the” get out of jail free card”. Not so much for the game itself, since usually it just sits there, and if you do get a chance to use it, you forget you have it. I just really like the concept of a get out of jail free card, and how it applies to everyday life.

 A good example of this happened last Sunday. As my wife woke up and started her routine, I sat down at the computer and noticed it was father’s day. Knowing that she had already forgot, I decided to have a little fun with her and started dropping cryptic hints. Later that morning she finally realized what day it was (after I had made us all breakfast) and was effusive in her apology. Now I could have acted like my feelings were hurt, or I could have been a little bit angry, but I chose to shower her with unconditional understanding. I let her know I wasn’t mad and that it could happen to anyone. It will happen to everyone, and it will definitely happen to me in the future.

That is where the concept of the get out of Jail free card comes in. By being extraordinary and nice about this, it ensures that I can remind her of this when I forget some holiday in the future. To me that is much more fulfilling than being angry. As of right now I have two or three of these tucked away at the edge of the board known as life.  Hopefully I won’t have to use them anytime soon, but you never know.

Reflections on the CPA exam: AUD

Status: Fire

The CPA exam was one of the most difficult things I’ve undertaken in my life. It’s been nearly a year since I passed the final section, and I wanted to write about my experiences before the sands of time cleanse my mind. I was hired at my current firm on 09/1/09, and immediately started attacking the exam. I had considered waiting a while before taking on the exam, but my wife had just had our first child, and I knew it would get harder to study as he got older. It also helped that my new boss made it seem like I would get fired after a year if I didn’t have the exam passed. Having these as motivating factors, I hit the audit section with reckless abandon.

My study tool was Becker, mainly because they promoted so heavily through my university. After I grudgingly borrowed $3000 from my father in law, I ordered Becker and received it three weeks after I was supposed to. Even luckier for me, I had signed up for all four tests in a sixth month period, and for those of you that have experienced the CPA exam, you know that missing three weeks of study time can make a huge difference. I finally received my materials, and scheduled a date for a month and a half out.

Luckily the topics in audit were not foreign to me. I had taken an audit class my senior year, and it was very much geared toward the CPA exam. I decided I would do two chapters a week (5 chapters in all) and then have two weeks for final review. I started off very strong, and scored well on the sample questions. I noticed right away that practice simulations didn’t help me at all. I know that they do help some people, but you just have follow whatever study pattern you’re comfortable with.

After three weeks, I had finished with the videos of the droll Becker instructors. I have to tell you right now that I absolutely hate Peter Olinto. If I ever have to hear “You’re on your way to be a CPA” again in his dumb jersey accent, I might just have to kill myself.  With the dumb videos behind me, I commenced operation final review. This is where I started losing steam. In retrospect, I should have only left a week for the final review. I started getting cocky, and thought  that I knew all the topics and that I didn’t even need to study much more during the last week. This was incredibly Foolish, because I still had many, many weaknesses.

When test day arrived, my cockiness turned to fear as I realized too late that I didn’t study enough. I couldn’t stop shaking as I walked into the prometric testing center, and I’m sure the proctor probably thought that I was a crack head. I was slightly shocked at how shabby and rundown the testing center was. I mean seriously, this is the F’n CPA exam, and it looked like a kindergarten class. At least the initial room I walked into did. I was then pleasantly surprised to find out that I would actually take the exam in a room the size of closet that reached right around 100 degrees. And through all this, the little voice in the back at my head was screaming that I wasn’t ready. But there was nothing else to do, so I put my thumb print down and started the test.

My anxiety only worsened during the test as it seemed that all the questions were either very vague, or seemed like I had seen nothing like them before. This seemed to culminate on the simulations, and I walked out of the exam feeling very confused. I had no Idea how I did, and figured it would come down to a coin flip. After three agonizing weeks, I found out my gut had been right. My score: 77. I was pretty shocked I passed, and now I know that I didn’t really deserve to. That’s the breaks with the CPA exam. You just have to accept what you get and move on.

With AUD down, I moved onto my next challenge, FAR.

Mars and Venus; what’s more to understand?

Status: Fluff

Once again another school term wraps up and the summer begins. My wife, Amy, has waited anxiously the last couple days for her grades to be posted.  As I indulged myself in a usually unhealthy snack yesterday, she walked out of the office looking just a bit frustrated. I asked if her grades were posted, and she responds “yes”, and states that she “did all right”. I go in and sit at the computer and quickly see that “alright” is three A’s and a B. If those had been my spring term grades, I would have thought them a bit better then alright.

It was not an unusual occurrence for me to be in the 3.00 – 3.40 range for spring terms. I was also much lazier (especially during spring terms) in school then she is. Even now that I’m older and more mature (well, sort of), I still think her conviction for what she’s doing still outweighs mine. Is it because she’s female? I don’t know, but it has been my general observation that women are harder workers than men.  Even the guys that were at the top of my class in college still seemed to rely more on natural talent rather than work ethic.

In sum, I want to congratulate Amy for being better at everything I’m good at. Except for board games, at which I’m still king, and no one is going to take that away from me!

Battle Royal at the Crown Royal

Status: Fluff

All Certified Public Accountants are required to have 80 hours of Continuing  Professional Education (CPE) every two years.  With my firm being very invested in government audits, I tend to take a lot of government CPE. Now I know that these classes might sound incredibly exciting, but let me assure you that they are not. I had to take one of these classes last week, “Government Auditing: putting it all together”. I know, you’re jealous, but please, let me continue. This lively event was held at the Crown Royal Hotel in Lake Oswego Oregon.

I started off the conference well, my veins full of caffeine and complimentary pastries. But as time lapsed, so did my concentration. I have a theory that as we become more relaxed in public settings where we’re supposed to pay attention (be it class, church, or a government auditing conference) we tend to fall into reoccurring fantasies. I know that’s how it is for me. What is my fantasy you ask? I wish I could tell you it was sitting on a beach sipping mai tai’s with Sandra Bullock (I know, she’s old but she still has it going on). Nope, my fantasy is a zombie apocalypse.

I start by thinking, “if my neighbor suddenly turns into a flesh eating monster, how would I get to an exit?” I then start wondering what weapons I could use (pens, chairs, and government auditing manuals), and usually finish with what route I would take to get out of town, and what survivors, if any, I would take with me.

I have constructed this crude drawing as a visual interpretation:

Why do I have this fantasy? I’m not quite sure, but I guess I can blame movies and video games like everyone else. Still, at least I’ll be well prepared if a zombie apocalypse does happen.  Especially since I go to accounting conferences.  50+, balding, and overweight Zombies aren’t the most intimidating monsters in the world. I’d be screwed if I was a policeman or a firefighter.

What about you? let me know what your fantasies are in these situations.

A bad day

Status: Fire

I only just started this blog and wasn’t expecting a fire event for quite some time, but as always life serves to demolish expectations. The senior CPA at our office had a heart attack yesterday, and passed away this morning.  I’ve only worked with Bill for a couple years, but he’s the kind of person that you like and respect the hell out of as soon as you meet him. That’s a rare trait to have these days. He was a no-nonsense, no bullshit man who always said what he meant, and meant what he said. Everyone respected him, but he also gave everyone the proper respect in return.  I will miss his guidance and wisdom when it comes to everything tax and my lingering regret will be having not taken the time to get to know him better. I feel his death will alter the course of my life, though in what direction, I’m not sure.

R.I.P Bill, may your wisdom live on through those you've touched.

In the beginning

Welcome to Fire and Fluff, if you haven’t come here on purpose, then you may have just made the best mistake of your life. My name is Adam, and I’m a Certified Public Accountant that works at a small firm, in a small city, in Oregon. I have a delightful (when he’s not physically hurting me) 22 month old son, and a fantastic (also when she’s not physically hurting me) wife of three years. You’ll learn more about both as time progresses.

I’ve always believed that %90 of our lives are made up fluff. Just the work grind and funny situations that we find ourselves in every day. The other %10 of our lives are made of fire. These are the events (both good and bad) that alter our lives in more meaningful ways.  It’s these events that forge who we really are, and the path that we take in life. I will write about both fire and fluff in regards to myself in this blog, and I would love it if you left comments about the “fire” events that have really impacted you, be it good or bad.

I’ll leave it at that for this first post. The topics that I’ll write about will vary, so check back often.